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One Liners

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Keep ROFL and Carry MAO
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Farting in the Elevator is Wrong on So Many Levels
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More Feck'n Irish Than You
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Drink 'Til Yer Green
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I'm a Drinker Not a Fighter
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I Survived The Doomsday Asteroid
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I Survived The Russian Meteor
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It's Easy to Meet Expenses ... They're Everywhere!
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Always Follow Your Heart
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All Men Are Born Free Then Some Get Married
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Shopping is Economic Patriotism
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Every Morning is the Dawn of a New Error
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Damned If You Do, Bored If You Don't
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A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night
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Love Thy Neighbor But Make Sure The Husband Isn't Home
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Live, Laugh, Love. Die Anyway
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Never Use a Big Word When a Diminutive One Will Suffice
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The Difference Between Genius and Stupidity
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Kiss My CSS
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To Be Or Not To Be - Misquote
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First Knock Knock Joke Heard Around the World
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A.S.A.P.F.
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This Dad Knows Jack
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Smiles: Free
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Absolut Father 100 Proof
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Powered by Caffeine
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Trust Me I'm a Scientist
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Beer It's What For Breakfast
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This Is Not a Drill
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He Fishes Therefore I Shop
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Everyone is Entitled to My Opinion
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I Love You For Your Brains!
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Zombies Were People Too
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Relish Today Ketchup Tomorrow
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Trust Me - I'm A Nerd
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Everytime Someone Uses Facebook ... A Real Book Dies
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I See Dumb People
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My Imaginary Friends Think I Have Mental Problems
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Baby Inside
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Baby Loading
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Grandpa: The King of Dads
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The More You Complain
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Lead Me Not Into Temptation
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Nobody's Angel
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Drama Queen
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Multi-Tasking: Screwing Up Several Things At Once!
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Firefighters Find 'Em Hot and Leave 'em Wet
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Dogs Have Owners. Cats Have Staff
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Consciousness: That Annoying Time Between Naps
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The Garage is Mine
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Recession: It's Why I'm Wearing This Crummy T-Shirt!
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Tell Me What You Need
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Change Is Inevitable Except From A Vending Machine
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Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
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Full Frontal Nerdity
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Zombie Beer Pong
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If I Come Back as a Zombie I'm Eating You First
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Do I Look Like a People Person?
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No Prey No Pay
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Booty U - Sail All Day, Party All Nite
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Hangin' With My Rummies
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Pirate Rehab
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Upped Our Standards
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Born to Fish (Forced to Work)
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Slave to My Cat
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Beauty Is In The Eye of the Beerholder
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I Flunked Anger Management
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Objects in This Shirt ...
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Power Tools Make The Man
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Equal Opportunity Annoyer!
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My Kid's Personal ATM
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The Voices in My Head: Hotel California
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Will Someone Please Steal My Identity
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I Found My Social Skills At the Bottom of a Cosmopolitan
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What Happens At My Place Stays At My Place
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Your Cell Phone Makes You Twice as Annoying
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I Didn't Do It ... And I'll Never Do It Again
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Still Plays With Trains
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I Make My Own Dance Moves
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Play in the Dirt
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Getting Lucky At My Age
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I'm Not Schizophrenic ... And Neither Am I
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Hockey Mom
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Soccer Mom
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My Amnesia Is Gone ...
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If You Touch My Junk ...
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Unpredictable Swing Voter
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Student Drinker
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I'm Irish - Do I Get A Free Beer?
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I Wanna Be A Nonconformist Like Everyone Else
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Circle of Trust
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Rated E For Evil
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Irish You Were Beer
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Irish You Were Naked
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So Irish My Liver Hurts
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Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder (St. Patrick's Day)
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You Can Kiss My Blarney Stones
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Leprechauns Made Me Do It
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Irish Today, Hungover Tomorrow
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I'm So Cute I Must Be Irish
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