Real Zombies Don't Run by Mike Jacobsen

What’s with all the running zombies in horror flicks these days? How are rotting corpses expected to break twenty yard dash records with their muscles and tendons reduced to a pink jelly, and their limbs falling off every time they trip over a rock? Zombies are shambling masses of rotten meat, they’re not runners!


Real zombies don’t run, despite what modern monster features and television shows tell you, the dead should be walking around not taking their trainers out for a trot.


 If you see a zombie running chances are it’s not a zombie at all, just some crazy cannibal hopped up on meth and hungry for some brains, so aim for the groin and save your headshots for the real zombies.



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