Are coworkers constantly pillaging and plundering your cubicle in search of office supplies and delicious snacks? You need the Yoda USB Desk Protector. Plug Yoda into any USB outlet and let the protection begin. As soon as Yoda detects motion, his lightsaber illuminates and he will say 1 of 6 phrases:
In the end, cowards are those who follow the dark side.
A disturbance in the Force there is.
Retreat! Cover you I will.
Still much to learn you have.
So certain of defeat are you, hmmm?
Rush into fight, long is the war. Only by surviving it will you prevail.
Yoda has your back. You are now free to take your time using the restroom.