Germ-A-Phobe Hand Sanitizer: For nature's most gruesome killers*

Finally! A hand sanitizer specifically designed for those with a health dose of respect for germs, nature's most horrific invisible killers. Look out, there's one right behind you now.

The Germ-A-Phobe Hand Sanitizer kills 99.99% of germs, and should be used liberally after practically anything and everything that you do. Apply after touching escalator railings, door knobs, shopping carts, public resrooms, elevator buttons, light switches, and yes, even (or especially) other people.

Use Germ-A-Phobe (or give one to a friend) today. Because the only good germs are dead germs.

*Calm down, it's a humorous product.