Ancient Chinese Secret

The Chinese people are privy to lots of secrets, from universal mysteries to cryptozoological lifeforms, and they guard these secrets with their very lives.

So when one particularly unscrupulous trader decided to move to America and sell his wares his fellow keepers of secrets knew trouble was in store for the town of Kingston Falls.

They thought-surely he will tell everyone about those three crucial secrets that keep the furry little buggers from becoming gremlins, right?